If you’re in the US, you’re familiar with how workaholics are praised for putting in countless hours and for never wanting to put work down. Let’s call it Last One to Leave the Office Syndrome (LOL OS, if you will).
The majority of us run on LOL OS. It’s our daily operating system.
And we get external reinforcement from our friends, family, co-workers, and bosses that further strengthens the desire to work ourselves harder.
People look up to workaholics and encourage them.
“You worked 80 hours last week? Awesome!”
“Overtime five nights in a row? Yeah buddy!”
You get the picture.
Many of us have an addiction to working ourselves to death, a constant fixation with productivity and output.
What’s worse is we feel guilty when we take time for ourselves to unwind and to give our minds time to relax.
When I was a remote employee, I had flexibility and autonomy over my own schedule.
Working wherever and whenever you want is awesome, but it comes at a price you never see coming.
You’re mentally on the clock even when you don’t have to be.
Rewind to late October 2014, back to the Sky Lantern Festival in Chiang Mai, Thailand.
My buddy Mike and I had basically taken the entire day off to explore the city and drive on top of mountains on our little rental mopeds. It was my first taste of being the driver in a vehicle that didn’t have any doors or a roof.
At night, we met up with our group of friends for the annual Yi Peng (Loi Krathong) Sky Lantern release, where thousands gathered on the grounds of a Maejo University to release their gigantic fiery lanterns.
As the night settled down and we met up for dinner, I blurted out an innocent realization. “Wow, I didn’t do any work today.”
One of my friends chimed in, “Really? I always feel guilty if I don’t work each day.”
Then it hit me. I had felt guilty too.
It had been a great day of decompression and the night sky lit up in the most spectacular and beautifully coordinated display I had seen in my life, but I felt bad for having taken the day off.
Now that I’m running my own company, I still feel bad if I don’t put in a sufficient amount of work in each day.
Two of my good friends from California are visiting me this week. They’re spending two nights here and when they first called me up to ask if I was available, I hesitated. Looking at my schedule, I saw I had a lot of scheduled calls Monday morning.
Then I thought about the work I had to do Tuesday. Then I thought about how much work I’d have to push to another date if I took both days off.
Luckily, I snapped out of it and told them I’d clear my schedule and that I’d make sure to show them a great time.
The things I value most are my friends, family, and making sure I don’t burnout. Whether that means closing the laptop on the weekends or watching an hour of television or a movie at night, I do it.
I accept that my brain may not shut up because it’s calling me back to work even when I don’t have to be there. It may keep nagging even if I’ve done enough for the day or if I’m tired and should give myself time off. It’ll cry and complain while I prioritize my closest friends over the work that could be done another day.
So I let it. I allow my intrusive thoughts to keep kicking and screaming, but then I go do what I want anyway.
I close the laptop. I stop checking emails. I stay present and enjoy the company of whoever I am with or focus 100% on the activity at hand.
You can’t always be working. There won’t be any medals or Wikipedia articles written solely based on how many hours you log each day. There has to be enough time for you to enjoy your life and the people in it.
You know what happens to a candle that is left sitting there, burning away, without refilling the wax? It eventually burns out.
Don’t let your mind burnout.
Accept that you’ll feel guilty for taking time off work for yourself. There will always be more work to be done. It never runs out.
What does run out is your bandwidth. Life itself runs out. So why not make the most of it by doing what makes you happy?
“Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.” -Ferris Bueller
This is certainly something I have to work on – as an economist, I automatically think about the opportunity cost of taking time off, which makes it harder to enjoy life in general.
I find that having a detailed plan about when and how much to work laid out in advance really helps. That way, you have a clear objective, and once that’s reached, you won’t feel as guilty for taking a little rest!
Yeah, I’m always thinking about opportunity cost (sometimes to a fault). Although it’s sometimes mentally taxing if you don’t know how to shut it off and enjoy yourself. I’d still much rather have that mindset than not!
Oh definitely, most of the times it’s highly useful for decision making. As long as you can figure out a way to turn it off!
Great article.
I think I have a mixed feelings about this. I’m also a business owner, but I’m on the other end sometimes, where I want to work because I’m excited about a project, but I feel guilty for working too much, and wish I didn’t feel guilty. Maybe this is because I’m a woman? However, I also realize that I do have to tell myself to just let my work go and enjoy the moment sometimes, because there’s an endless ticker tape of projects and tasks, and I need to find a balance.
Thanks for sharing.
Like you, I also love the work that I do and sometimes I work too much not because I have to but because I want to. But as passionate as we may be, our batteries need to be recharged.
Sometimes we don’t feel burnout coming after us. We think we could keep going because “we’re not tired”. Then it hits and we wonder where we went wrong.
It takes will to pull yourself away from your work.
Great article, Vincent!! I have been thinking about this recently. I am in med school and it is the same kind of vibe – tough to decompress without feeling like I should be studying around the clock. But you are right – appropriate rest and relaxation is okay!! The things we need to get done always manage to find a way to get done 🙂
Heh, I was the opposite when I was in school. I probably should’ve studied more often. 😛
I grew up believing a day without guilt is like a day without sunshine. And not being productive was a good reason to feel guilty. I’ve had to work really hard to banish that from my brain but now, even when I do feel guilty, I do it anyway. Good for you for taking time to enjoy your friends!
I’m glad I spent time with them too! Had a great time and visited a lot of places I’ve never been to before. Actually in California now as I decided to drive back here with them. 🙂
What a wild country you came from!?! In Poland the only people happy about overtime are bosses (and wives, but only on the payday).
I have a simple system for not feeling guilty: I just do everything I can for the day and then let go. And I don’t work on Sundays at all (unless forced by my employer).
Nice! I try to limit my time working on the weekends too.