You’ve seen movies about the protagonists who have to go through with this one special experience and their lives would change forever.
In Project X, three best friends want to throw a huge party that would catapult them into high school popularity.
The entire movie is setup to emphasize how important this party is to them. It’s their life-changing moment. It’s the night they’ll always look back on and say, “That’s where it all changed.”
All I’ve got to do is _____ and I’ll be happy forever. This is the false if then statement that all of us get caught in every now and then.
For me, I thought I wouldn’t have to spend another second consciously trying to improve myself when I finally dropped out of college and moved overseas. I was naive and thought being happy and growing as a person would come on its own because of where I’m at.
What I didn’t realize is that you adapt and get used to where your life is, no matter how good it may be at the moment. New problems take place of the old.
You don’t stay happy forever with a passive mentality because it’s always going to be a conscious effort.
If you give too much weight to a single experience then you become too reliant on it. It’ll never live up to your experiences and if it somehow does, you’ll soon seek new challenges anyway.
That’s why I focus on momentum and building positive experiences every day. That’s the only way to stay afloat and keep a level head.
What can you do to build momentum?
Say hello to a stranger every day.
You’ll befriend the most interesting people, get into crazy adventures, and have new stories to tell.
You can build from each new experience to help set the groundwork for the next.
Too easy? Now introduce two strangers to each other every day.
Do this often enough and your friends will begin doing the same. They’ll bring new people into your social circle. They’ll tell their friends, too, and it becomes infectious.
Suddenly, everyone’s meeting each other, shaking hands, and having a great time. New stories emerge.
Now you no longer rely on a single life-changing experience because you have dozens or hundreds of interesting stories to tell, each one better than the last. You’re high on life.
Your life is truly changing now. And it’s not because of one single event but hundreds.
You’re so right. This happens in therapy also. People hope to find the one critical incident that caused their problem which works great in movies but not so much in real life. It’s usually the many small experiences in their life which shaped them.
If only it were so simple! 😛
You said it so true .We learn from everything ,places and specially people we meet teach us special lessons . Even a kind word and simple smile changes whole day to think positive .
Exactly! I couldn’t have said it better myself.
Talking to strangers is big. I became a mentor. I talked about life and death. I met a reading soulmate. Every human is a mystery waiting to discover.
About one moment:
http://theprogressjournal.wordpress.com/2013/10/12/big-lessons-exam/ Point #4
Thanks for sharing, Michal.
Life is composed of all the little moments that over time make up a life. A single experience doesn’t change your life. It may change something drastically, but then it is all the little things you do after that change you.
The grass is greener where you water it : D.
Here’s a great video on the subject: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AdymCQ5PXrs
“If you give too much weight to a single experience then you become too reliant on it. It’ll never live up to your experiences and if it somehow does, you’ll soon seek new challenges anyway”
dude, i’m going on a date this friday, I think you just saved me. Thank you for being awesome as usual
Good luck dude! Dates are fun but remember it’s just that… Fun. Don’t walk in with unrealistic expectations. 🙂
Simplicity, simplicity! Here’s what I just got finished saying to a private marketing training course my wife and I run…
“What cracks me up is the complex, complicated things we do to achieve. Many of these things are effective, and what Diane teachers requires a different thought process than what most of us have. But really…what you need to accomplish starts with raising your energy, feeling better and gaining some clarity. ”
What you recommend is a perfect example of that, Vincent. Great post!
Thanks, Larry! Didn’t know you had a private marketing training course! I’m sorry if you’ve mentioned it before, but I believe this may be the first time I’ve heard of it. 🙂
It’s REALLY dangerous to subscribe to this view and I hope more people become aware of it. Everyone’s all like “If I get X, I’ll be happy”, yet then the happiness eludes them. “But I thought X would make me happy, what’s wrong with me?” Billboards flashing fancy cars and clothes at us don’t help 🙁
I remember actually attributing such weight to a certain life event, and pouring my heart and sole into achieving that one thing… But then when I got it it wasn’t that big of a deal, and I fell into a month of depression. I thought it would make me perfectly happy and content forever, like that one thing would solve EVERYTHING!
What’s worked better for me these days is working towards just bringing people into my life and doing things that make me happy. So I know not ONE thing will make me happy, not ONE thing will change my life, but many tiny little things all stuck together just as
Sebastian said :).
Some are bigger (moving to a new country), some are smaller (having a quiet night in with myself when I’m feeling tired or need to recharge my introvert juices), but it’s the sum of everything together than creates that happiness.
Yup! Momentum is the word of the day.
One major event could help you out in the long-run but it’s up to you to capitalize on it for the next experience(s). Happiness won’t be a permanent asset in your life as a result of one addition to your life. It’s about the bigger picture and what you do with the days beyond.