Think about how well you truly know people in your life.
Do you know what they do for fun? What they do for work? How they behave when they’re alone vs. with other people? Do you understand their goals and ambitions?
Let’s quickly shift to my mother’s side of the family’s perspective on me and who they I think am:
They’re concerned that I’m not getting a college degree.
They think I’ll end up starved on the street.
They wonder why I haven’t already settled down into a long-term relationship.
They believe I value money over education (I do, but just not in the way they think nor for the reasons they may think).
They think I don’t have much life experience because I’m “always in front of a computer”.
Now let’s go to my father’s side of the family:
They think I’ll be a millionaire within the next few decades.
They see me as ambitious, intelligent, and driven.
They believe I can accomplish anything I set my mind to.
They understand my values, goals, and where I’m headed.
They admire my freedom and my travel experiences.
They trust that I know what I’m doing and that I’ll figure it out.
Two completely different perspectives from two sides of my family.
My mother’s side of the family truly are concerned about me and they’re looking out for my best interest.
But they’re missing 95% of the picture.
They don’t realize why I travel overseas and they wouldn’t understand why I’d prefer running my own business as opposed to checking in each morning into a job they perceive as “safe”.
They wouldn’t even believe the experiences I share with them.
They don’t know my story even though they’re convinced they do.
My father’s side, however, listen before they speak or judge. They see my point of view and accept it, fully trusting me to do what’s right for me.
Viewing people one-dimensionally means you’ll miss their redeeming qualities and what makes them interesting.
I have friends who may not have the same morals and values I do, but there are more dimensions to their characters that make them some of my closest friends. If I weighed their entire value as a person on just a single dimension, I wouldn’t have ever decided to keep them in my life.
Don’t be so quick to judge someone and think you have them figured out. Chances are, there are thousands of pieces you’re missing from the story.
Everyone’s stories are rich. Try to find the different dimensions in them.
Interesting post. I completely understand this paradox as I come across it constantly. I find that I can be around some people and feel completely confident in my decisions because their reflection of me mirrors how I see myself, whereas I walk away from others and suddenly feel small because their reflection was completely skewed. I usually have to reset after such encounters.
Thanks for sharing.
-Tara
Thanks, Tara!
It’s sort of about holding ourselves back and capturing as much “data” as possible, isn’t it? Pretty similar to marketing where you want to let data collect and be accurate before making any rash decisions.
Quite true, cos God has never made a perfect human being!!! Everyone has some or the other fault in themselves so, if you really love someone then its important for you to accept his/her faults, and try to help him get rid of his/her bad trait. But understanding that person’s perspective is also important…
I don’t mean to be cheesy (oh hell, I live to be cheesy) but accepting your own faults is just as important!
Are you a misanthrope? I know you’re not. But please be careful with the fair sex. At least by their scrutiny we can all have straw
(Didn’t finish) By
Straw huts we’ll not damage the ecosystem. I just want Vincent to win.
Not sure what you mean, Nick. Please clarify?
Interesting read. There is a surprising amount of depth to almost anyone, and we should never judge or assume anything. Wise lessons!
Thanks, Phil!
Vincent, it’s a shame you are an entrepreneur, you should be a writer.
However… not all is lost yet 😉
You should write a book about multi-dimensional repercissions of being a human. I see it is a constant them in your posts.
I have been thinking about book writing a lot more these days!
As I can see already, your readers are on your side as we are all into the “entrepreneurial” spirit. But I get your point of that set of people who will think of the conventional way of going through life – finishing education, finding a job, get married, etc. Man, you are lucky you found yourself in our world early. I started challenging the convention at this age when I have already established a career in the corporate world.
I will have a lot of naysayers but thanks to be surrounded by people like you!
And we’re on your side too, Rob!
Good article